DISCLAIMER: I don't recommend reading the album lore if you're under 16 or sensitive to topics like: mental issues, violence, death etc... Also, please keep in mind that this is only my interpretation and story of the album.Feel free to have your own interpretation of the album and its tracks!

The album was created during a time span from Nov 2022 - April 2023.
Within that time span, I experienced the hardest winter depression in my life.
It was very hard for me to talk about my struggles.
Creating this album helped me a lot to let all these bottled-up emotions out.
Each time I created a track, I felt better afterward because I could once again express my feelings, this time through sound instead of words.
This is my most personal project so far and I'm really proud of myself because...
I was able to produce an album that has become my personal favorite among all the albums I have ever listened to.
This album means a lot to me and that's why I'm super thankful for everyone who enjoys it.

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Here is how I'm experiencing the album:

Brain.exe stopped working

The first track of the album, "Brain.exe stopped working" signifies the beginning of a timeline.
Brain.exe stopped working expresses the following situation:

You're trying to stay mentally healthy while being productive while taking care of yourself and your friends.
You're trying really hard to be the best you can be.
Staying mentally healthy while remaining productive and taking care of yourself and your friends.
Decisions, sacrifices, so many things all at once...
Everything becomes increasingly challenging with each passing day until suddenly you lose control over your thoughts.
You suddenly can't do all the things you used to do anymore and you're overwhelmed by emotions.
It's been too much. You pushed yourself too hard. And now you're realizing that something doesn't feel right.
What's wrong with me???(outro)

You don't understand what's going on, and you feel different compared to before.
With all these thoughts in mind, you feel really alone.
You think about reaching out to others because you feel like you need help.
You're struggling and can't find the right words, partly because you're unsure of what exactly is happening.
Thinking further into it, you realize that the people you want to contact might be busy with their own problems.
The combination of all those worries and problems leads to just pretending like everything is okay (1:08)

The "voice mail" (call for help) never gets sent, and you "deleted" the idea of reaching out for help from your brain.exe (1:19)

self sabotage

Now, you're even lonelier than before because you have all these thoughts inside your head.
You don't know what to do with them, but they're dragging you down.
Instead of crying about it, you become numb and sad because it's just too much to handle.

You're slowly drifting away into your own world, emotionally distancing yourself from everyone (0:25).
You stop caring about things, especially yourself.
Why would it make sense to treat myself nicely if I still end up feeling down?
You stay up late, avoid going outside, neglect your health, and abandon your goals because... you simply don't care anymore.
It feels beautiful to drift into the comfort of the void - your personal space.
But then you suffer. "My thoughts are too loud. I can't sleep." (1:10)

failed attempt no.99

You've decided that you no longer want to suffer. All the joy in life has been lost, so you're trying to make something that you can be proud of.
You're trying to get your old life back. All attempts are hopeless. It's sad and frustrating.

giving up

You finally give up on getting your old life back and fall into the deep layers of the void.
You've learned that trying has little to no effect, so you stop caring about anything at all.
The voice at 0:21 says "Layer 0" which is the destination you're heading towards.

0:30
The beautiful melodies symbolize the comfort you experience while going down, as well as the beautiful memories that slowly fade away in front of your eyes.
You lose touch with reality.
You don't have to worry about anything, because what do you have to lose?

1:12
There is a smooth transition into the next song because I imagine going down like this, like a scene where you slowly & softly fall onto the ground of "Layer 0"

bittersweet revenge 1%

*Disclaimer: I have no intention of actually doing the things I'm about to describe. I was/am and will be fully in control of my actions when it comes to those feelings, so I'm not a dangerous person.
The following words are fictional and didn't happen:

You reached the ground floor/layer 0 of the void.
Down there, your "1% psychopath self" is waiting.
Ready to blame those who've done the most damage to your psyche.
2 people were responsible. You were innocent and happy, but they still bullied you into depression back then.
"too much feeling" (0:15)
It's time for an act of bittersweet revenge because justice will satisfy you.
Let's take them out one by one.

It's a rainy night, and you locate the person who's done the most damage to you.
This one is very personal, so I'm choosing the knife.
As you walk up from behind, it's hard for you not to start laughing (0:14)
Getting revenge is truly exciting, and you can't wait to see them gone.A kick in the back, and he's lying on the ground, coughing blood.You get caught up in your feelings and stab them as many times as you can while your heartbeat goes crazy.Blood splatters around until you stop.

You laugh because you took the ultimate revenge.
You're remembering that he once said: "When you die, I will piss on your grave."
As the ultimate comeback, you're finding your final words:
"You died first"

...

There is a second person to take care of. "It's not over yet." (1:39)
Adrenaline is pumping through your blood as you locate your second and final target.
This time you're choosing a gun because even though they did very bad things to you, they were a bit influenced by person 1,
so there is no need for a painful mess.
As you slowly walk towards him, he notices you and the gun you're holding.
He starts running for his life, which makes you even more excited. (2:08) You run after them and finally, take him out. (2:21)

disappointment

You noticed that taking revenge didn't solve your problems. Instead of blaming others, you begin to blame yourself.
You start feeling very uncomfortable in your own skin.
The inner critic (best friend (0:33)) reminds you constantly of all the things you're failing at.
Because you already gave up, you just believed your inner critic and started hating yourself a lot.
The idea of seeing your inner critic as your best friend is ironic.
Seeing something that's inside your head as a best friend just because it's always there is so fucked up that you could laugh about it.
Not because it's funny, but because it's so absurd. It's more like a desperate laugh.

The feeling of being a waste of space on this earth, dragging everyone else down with your mood, becomes present. (1:44)
You ignore all the positive aspects of yourself and start to believe that the world would be a better place without you.
This wasn't meant to be a suicidal thought; it's simply a way to express your disgust with yourself.

Despite all that, you noticed that you're overall more resistant and less sensitive, so the drops in the track are powerful.

last smile

You've found your way out of Layer 0, and your emotions are slowly coming back.
Since you dropped into the void, some time has passed.
It's been a while since you smiled, which is kind of sad, but the memories of the good times in your life have returned.
Dreaming about the good times in your life makes you feel something.

i only went to school because of you

One of the memories includes a crush you had in high school.

"4 years ago, I had a high school crush on a girl like many others.
But it wasn’t like other high school crushes.
School was hell for me back then, so I often didn’t go there.
But when I fell for her, things got brighter.
Just her presence made me feel so much more comfortable in the most horrible place I knew.
So eventually, I only went to school because of her.
I never told her anything because it would have made things awkward.
It's still a very beautiful memory."

sorry for everything

You started noticing all the people around you again, and you felt sorry for distancing yourself from them.
You feel like you've really brought the mood down.

(1:41)
"Hold me back
See what I mean
Hold me back
Read in between"

You're trying to explain to people that you've been really down and that you wish for help to get out of the void.
You're not really able to express what's going on.
What you're trying to say is: Hold me back from falling deep into the void again, and please read between the lines to understand what I need and what I'm going through.
"See what I mean?" is a desperate attempt to ask people if they understand it. Most of them say yes, even though they don't fully understand you.
You can't judge them, though, because you explained it very poorly and it's hard for you to say what's going on.

(1:58) "Worst I've been"
You're trying to explain how far down in the void you've been and what kind of disturbing stuff you experienced.
But you're not revealing a lot about it.

(2:01) "Sorry for everything"
You made others worry, and you've seen how you didn't have a good impact on their mood.
You think it's best to leave it like this and move on because you're not able to get very far.
You're truly sorry for every negative impact on the lives of others.

forget me please

No one seems to fully understand your experience, so you wallow in self-pity.
You just want people to forget about you and want them to replace you because you're not the same as you were.
It's sad yet beautiful.
As you're floating through the void, the melody of self sabotage starts playing (1:03)
Now you're truly sabotaging yourself.
Once again, you distance yourself because you feel misunderstood and alone, even though that's not entirely true.

The fact that you're getting really emotional again feels good.

2:50
Melodies from the void are playing (self sabotage, failed attempt no.99, brain.exe stopped working, i only went to school because of you...)
The whole thing you experienced flashed in front of your eyes.

beautiful sadness

You're still sad, but your overall mindset starts to shift in a more positive direction.
Beautiful sadness is one of those emotions that are hard to explain but have always been there with you.
Slowly, you're floating out of the void.

not everything is hopeless

You made it. You're out of the void.
You are not completely fine, but you accepted yourself again and became more resistant.
You can't get your old life back, and you probably will never be the same after this, but that's okay.
Change is okay; sometimes it's necessary, and you've understood that.
"In everybody's life, there are people that generally do not change..." (0:00) You're not one of them, and that's okay.

You've started feeling truly happy again sometimes.
You've finally been able to kind of tell people what's going on, and you felt better after you told them.

"Please help end the stigma associated with depression and other mental illnesses by coming forward to speak about your own struggles, encouraging others to come forward, and always being willing to listen without judgment." (1:29)

✦✦✦

Thank you void

for teaching me about the things I've been ignoring about myself

for teaching me about the things that are important to me

for supporting my mood with beautiful melodies

for letting me dream and experience beautiful sadness

for taking away some of my fears

and for my next visit, I'll be prepared better
if there ever will be one
if not, I'll always remember you

Thank you ~ Softboy7

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Life can be hard and challenging and it's important that we speak about that.
"welcome to the void" is about the experience of navigating through the raw emotions of a challenging phase in life.
It's a journey through sadness and mental struggles with all its beauty and ugliness.
Things are fucked up sometimes.

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